I am awake, reading under a single light. I am awakening to the fact that, as Joanna Macy puts it, "there is no vicarious salvation. We are enjoined to be lamps unto ourselves." If I am my own inner light, the alchemist of my own life, how do I begin? How do I go about loving the world?
I am beginning with an attempt to understand the loose categories of self, society, and environment and the strings that tie them all together. Ecology is a "description of reality that understands it as an interconnected system of reciprocal inspiration" (Andreas Weber); ecology encourages us to look at the strings.
Self
The idea of non-self (anatta) has been really freeing for me. There is no permanent self that I need to worry about; instead I am free, in each moment, to choose how to act in a way that brings about more love and understanding. We are all blanks called upon to enjoy the ecstasy of this endless truebody (Kerouac). I am empty space, I am all things. Perhaps the greatest misstep of recent history is the propagation of the illusion that we are separate, and that we will find salvation in the advancement of our separateness.
If there is no self, why does it matter what we do? The way we shape the world matters because it in turn shapes the way we see the world. When we choose to bike instead of drive, we may reach the same destination, but we and the world are forever changed. Slow travel paves new grooves of wonder and empowerment in our minds.
In the same way, Gandhi in the Hind Swaraj tells a story about how we could come to acquire a piece of property. You could buy it, steal it, ask for it as a gift. In the course of acquiring the thing, both you and the thing are transformed. In this way, we have agency to change the nature of our relationships to all things.
Environment
Gandhi's story, and the beauty of a gift, echoes in the philosophy of Robin Wall Kimmerer. A gift is something we do not acquire by our own efforts. We cannot buy it or acquire it through an act of will. It is bestowed upon us, as simple and profound as the warmth of the sun on our face. Kimmerer encourages us to look to the wisdom of plants, who receive light and water, then transform it into food and medicine that they give away freely. As Lewis Hyde writes, "the spirit of a gift is kept alive by its constant donation."
In fact, we can see all of ecology through the spirit of the gift. The forest is constantly in the midst of a holiday gift exchange en masse, passing around food, water, nutrients, shelter, themselves. We've forgotten that we are still part of this gift exchange, receiving the sacrament of life every time we drink water, eat food, or lay in a meadow. How we receive this sacrament matters, as Gandhi explained, because doer and deed co-arise. In our market economy, we tend to feel stunned and embarrassed when we receive a gift. Instead, a plant reminds us to receive graciously, feel gratitude, give generously, and weave bonds of co-dependence with others. Just like plants, we are alchemists of the gift of life, and what we do with our life is our gift to all things.
For a long while I thought that research was the best and only way for me to engage with the natural world. Kimmerer dreams of a world of scientific practice (rigorous exploration of the truth) but without the traditional scientific worldview (in which we have an illusion of control and can separate knowledge and responsibility). Instead, she writes about an indigenous worldview where we see ourselves as inextricably linked, through matter and spirit, to the web of reciprocity that touches all things.
Society
This web of interdependence extends to other humans as well. Rather than seeing ourselves as separate from the rest of society, the Buddha saw all social structures as impermanent reflections of the law of interdependent co-arising. "As collective forms of our ignorance, fears, and greed, [social structures] acquire their own momentum, enlist our widespread collusion, and depend on our mutual consent" (Joanna Macy). We have dug deep grooves of separateness and extraction in our collective psyche. So what do we do when we feel a disconnect between our social structures and ourselves? How do we bring about change?
First of all, remember that a single person is capable of helping many living beings. This is a hopeful place to start. Next, let us remember that we are not alone, and as Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and Thich Nhat Hanh decided, “without a community, we cannot go very far.” I hope that mediums like this can help us weave strings of shared goals across time and space. Next, let us channel our legitimate anger and frustration in a way that maintains our self respect, our somebodiness, because the ways in which we attain our goals matter just as much as the goals themselves. Dr. King was a deep thinker on how to organized a persistent and effective challenge to structural injustice. He coined the term 'direct action', which is an aggressive and active form of noncooperation. "It’s about trying to wedge yourself into the machinery of domination, to prevent its adequate functioning, to try to force or coerce your fellow citizens to stop and take stock of what kind of injustices are being unfurled in their name" (Brandon Terry).
I am still figuring out exactly how I will be wedging myself into this powerful machinery and encouraging others to do the same, but recently it's begun with my beautiful black road bike. She and I have travelled all over the Monterey Peninsula this past week, and we have felt the ways in which something as simple as moving our bodies around has been colonized by the fossil fuel industry. But our presence on the road, when I am pumping my legs, flying faster than the cars, is a manifestation of my complete freedom, and the Great Turning that is already underway.
Great way to get ready for my retirement and travel the world with gratitude and reciprocity.
Thanks for the beautiful and inspiring thoughts. The deep interconnectedness of it (us) all--such a great realization!